Cubicle-Fu

I hope this goes without saying, but here we go: practice acknowledging your coworkers for tasks done well.

Don’t overdo it, but do thank people for their efforts, and practice noticing when you’re feeling appreciative and then say it!

If people see that you appreciate good work, they:

1. will want to work with you and
2. will want to do good work for you.

If you’re just Complainer McComplainerson or Ned McNotgoodenough then people will avoid you and maybe even not come to you with information you might need, out of fear of another complaint. You lose other people’s help, trust, and you might even set yourself up to fail because people avoid telling you what you need to know until the last possible minute.

Try these small acknowledgments:

• Hey, thanks, I really appreciate that.
• Thanks for doing that, it took a load off my plate.
• Hey, I know that was a pain, thanks for handling it.

Do not try these:

• Hey, awesome job getting to work on time! You’re so on time!
• Wow, thanks for wearing that sexy outfit today, I really appreciate it.
• Thanks for saying that stupid thing in the meeting, it totally took the weight off of me to look good!

What do you think are good things to acknowledge?

Note to self (and others): Always be aware of the impact of your actions on coworkers. People might not say anything about your solo belching contests, which is short term good, but long term bad when they end up on your promotion committee.

Example: I go to the gym, most days. I discovered an air vent behind my cubicle and put my clothes near there to dry off. I found a free clothes dryer, that’s some serious Cubicle Fu! A few days later I showed my coworker my incredible invention. Her response, “Ooooh, THAT’S what that smell is.

I hope she forgets by peer review time.

True story (sorry about that, GT.)

A lot of my job is about acceptance. I accept the different styles of coworkers. I accept that you have to have some meetings. I accept the slap, smack, and grunt of the neighboring cube at lunchtime (and hope it’s just lunch going on). I accept these things because I think you have to choose your battles, and the Cubicle Fu Master knows when to follow the way of peace.

For example, last week, I overheard a snippet of conversation outside my cube, as Mr SlapSmackandGrunt said to someone:

“Well, you’d better SAVE AS…“

and then, in an altogether suggestive tone,

“…IF you know what I mean…”

There really is no problem here, not for me anyway, and if he wants to let out some sexual repression with a lewd comment about drop down menus, it’s not getting in my way. Some deep breathing, with a focus on acceptance, served to reground me. It really does work, and I was able to get back to that mindless meditation we call “production work.”

(cartoon from XKCD)

Recently a coworker snapped at me when I asked her if she needed help. “What a bitch” was my first thought, followed swiftly by, “Man, she is always such a bitch.” And truthfully, she can be, but she’s also sensitive, and even if she wasn’t, the question “Why are you such a bitch” is a tough opening line if you’re looking for resolution. Like the wildebeast, many coworkers are sharp and biting, and also sensitive to any perceived personal attack. Approaching requires the finesse of a Cubicle Fu master taming dragons.

When approaching the dragon-like coworker:

1. Walk softly, with confidence (if you act confident and kind, and perhaps ignorant of the danger of a blow up from them, then they might still blow up, but it will be smaller because you didn’t JUST disturb their natural habitat)
2. Ask them what is going on for them (chances are they snapped for a reason, and they’re probably used to a snap back. so this approach is both a welcome surprise, and you might find out what their issue is and help solve it)
3. Listen, Don’t patronize (they’ll likely sense that and blow up more. when you’re listening, really listen, and let go of your own agenda. if you spend the whole time they’re talking by planning what you’re going to say, well, good luck with that)
4. Let them talk (any good lawyer will tell you to let a cross-examine ramble before you reveal your cards, it gives you time to adjust your case to win. similarly, you can find out what the issue is by letting them state it, listen for how to resolve it, then get in there and make a suggestion that addresses their specific concern.)
5. Address their concern (chances are they won’t hear you till they feel heard. period. so help them, to help you.)
6. After you’ve helped them address their issue, state yours as already solved (”Cool. I’m really glad we figured out what was going on. Truthfully, I felt a little burned when you responded the way you did, and now I’m glad we know how to keep us both happy.” a little couching there, and if they don’t get it, then you have a larger issue on your hands)